Here’s the thing about babies: they poop and pee a lot. If you’re new to this, you have no flipping idea how much—especially at the beginning. And yes, the blowouts are gross. And yes, you’re going to get peed on sometimes. But keep in mind these ten things, and you’ll be just fine.
1. According to one estimate, a baby will go through almost 5,000 diapers in the first two years.
2. Wipes are not flushable. Unless you buy these. Or these.
3. Swim diapers might keep poop out of the pool, but they are not absorbent. So put a regular diaper over the swimmer en route to the BBQ, and change him back into a regular diaper après-swim, if you don’t want to get peed on.
4. Some diaper rash creams contain ingredients that can clog the fibers of a cloth diaper, meaning it won’t absorb pee very well. Try a cloth diaper-safe diaper cream instead.
5. Never, ever leave a baby unattended on a changing table. Even for a second. Even if she can’t move yet. Even if she’s strapped on. Here are the AAP’s guidelines for changing table safety.
6. Have a jingly toy (or something seriously coveted) that she only gets to hold during a diaper change.
7. Diapers don’t expire. The white ones may yellow a bit over time, but they are still fine to use.
8. Adorable diapers and a cute diaper bag won’t reduce the number of changes required (see number 1, above), but it’s the little things that’ll get you through.
9. Seventh Generation adds colored pigments to its diapers to achieve that “natural” color. Huh. But at least they aren’t bleached with chlorine.
10. Don’t be a diaper-changing hero: let other people get in on the action from the very beginning. Because there are going to be a lot of diapers to change. (Again, see number 1, above.) If anyone feigns incompetence, have him watch this.