We trust you all know how to make your own friends. Still, we hear a lot of grumbling from new moms about making mom-friends. So we polled the coolest moms we know (the StrollerTraffic Scouts) and put together a quick Dos-and-Don’ts guide to chumming up with like-minded moms.

DO break the ice by complimenting her baby—a simple She’s adorable. How old is she? will do.

DON’T compare your babies or try to impress another mom. Dropping a line like He’s still waking up at night? My daughter has been sleeping through since 6 weeks is a total buzzkill.

DO go to mommy-and-me classes and story hours to find moms with kids around the same age as your child.

But DON’T expect to like every mom you meet just because your kids are the same age.

DO talk to other moms at the park—most will be happy to have a grown-up conversation.

DON’T rush a friendship. You don’t go from zero to BFF in one conversation. Chat a few times, plan a first get-together, and see how things go.

DO invite moms you like to have a play date, or to meet at the playground.

DON’T push it, though, if she doesn’t seem receptive.

DO give your e-mail address or cell phone number to a mom you like.
DON’T necessarily hand out calling cards with your contact info on them. Depending on the attitude in your ‘hood, that could come off as a little too much.

DO invite moms you’ve gotten to know for a late-afternoon play date and a glass of wine.

DON’T serve wine at a morning playgroup. That’s depressing.

DO admit that you’re not perfect, and that being a mom is hard. (And because being a mom is hard for everyone, DO offer—without pressure—to help when a mom you know needs a little extra support.)

DON’T make judgmental comments about another mom’s parenting style, food choices, breastfeeding longevity, potty training approach, or stay-at-home or working status. Just DON’T!